hello pakistani friends my name is hazim and i am from jordon, i need some information pakistani marriage customs, recently i had the oportunity to visit your beautiful city of lahore to attend of of my friends wedding it was very nice experience but one of the custom of dowry really shocked me, and i couldn't imagine that in a muslim country there would be such a custom.
in arab world , iran, malaysia and in other muslim countries (except pakistan) we have following marriage customs which has been around for centuries.
1) when a man wants to get married he sends his family to womans house to talk about marriage and they finalize it.
2) its mans responsibility before marriage that he furnish his house, buy everyday household appliances and get all everyday stuff what one family would need for average life and doing that by staying within his socio-economic ability.
3) when he has done the above than he notifies the womans (bride) family that he has setup his home, than the bride's family come and inspects the grooms house that if everything is in order. and they give sign of approval. then the marriage ceremonies starts.
4) as for the bride is concerned she brings nothing as its the mans job to provide everything and if he is not capable than he has no business in getting married at the first place.
5) bride could receive gifts from her relatives as one would receive of value like in birthdays etc
it was shocking to see that in pakistan woman brings from spoons to bed to carpets to everything, and it is demanded by the groom that what he wants,where is the morality of and manliness of pakistani groom.
may god have mercy