Probably the most funny (and stupid) english you'll ever read


#1

If you want to skip to the funny part, skip the next paragraph.

Two years ago when I was doing my O-Levels, someone gave me a few 2nd Year English B Papers to check. That was without doubt the day when I laughed the most till now. After reading first few papers and getting myself one hell of a headache I confirmed if they were indeed 2nd Year papers, cause I could bet that a 3rd grade kid could write better than that. But after I got in the mood, I just enjoyed the pure humorous English. And I knew that moments like those wouldn't come again, so I made a few scans of the most "golden" papers. I wanna share the most golden of them with you guys:

[quote=", post:, topic:"]
An Essay on "My College" Read slowly!

My college name is Govt College [.....]. My college is situated on the Sargodha.My college teachers is very well kept. My Prinsple is very well because The collge system is good. Our collage is very beautiful. Our collage have twelve room. one of office. The pricple sitting here. My college teacher are farty are fifty. My have two sarvant wich clean the college. They were many flower here and there. The look of the Garden (Ohh the LOOK of garden... :D). My teachers reading very work hard. but Many teacher is lik Miss [...] is my best teacher. Because she is reading of the Good idea. Our college of all the room were in the fan. My college is the right of conteen. My college are reading the student sixteen Eigtleng hundred. we sitting on the chirs. All the room were black board and coubourd. All the student were regularl Period. My collage has shattler in the city. My collage all the room were vaste. Thery were many the trees. We sitting in the shade.My collage is very beautiful. I like you college. Our college is the grass very soft. We sitting on up. Subject has shartend distance. If mare and mare subject here. Then college were mare student. Some teachers are very soft and hard. Everybody was the good speech of my college. My parents were the good speech of my college. Miss [....] is my faviourt teacher. She is reading well kept. Our college is very clean but student throw the rapgher is very dirty my college. My college unifourm is white dresses but dubta is very different. My saweters are black. My tell me the Islamic talk me and Good talk me.

[/quote]

I have got 4 more, but this was the most classic one.

A few lines worth sharing from the rest of the papers:

[quote=", post:, topic:"]
- This college is very realistic Damn all the colleges for being unrealistic :D

- This System is very good. This building is very good and beautiful and noutirous

-- All the rooms are well covered and papered. All the building are very clean and white and wash

- Every rooms are IN the chairs

- Our college is very biggest and fast.

- Every topiks are books in here and they lead them.

- Hospital are facilites in the college. If enybody have THE sick you made and give their medicine.

- Teachers are very noble and perfect. They teachs us very good. Every topic to discuss the students and they tells him the students

- The students comes in this college many villages towns getting for knowledge.

- My college has well disiplened. Our college with covered roses plants. The college play ground are grassy plans.

- My college is very popular becuase of knowledge.

- My college three storees. My college is very high in education.

- My college students are very able because our teachers are very able and intalligent so students are very able!!!

- I and my friends are very enjoying of the functions other student of the other colleges to see these functions and very happy.

- I like it very much in every day of life. God always progress.!!!

- Our college staff is very hard working. They own duty is very honesty. Our teachers we read very good.Our college canteen available everything. Our college IS factality OF computer lab!!. Our library have many good books. Every topic have books on Islamic book. Our college started morning at 8:30 o clock and closed by 1:30 o clock at noon. We were very enjoy in the college during the classic time.

- Our college gate opened in the fixed time College life is very good life. The friends helped each other in every problem. No body talking in during the class lecture. Our english teacher is very good read I like most very much in my english teacher I like very much IN my college.

- My college is very beautiful and big greend and big hall. My college HIS rooms are very big and clean. My college all the teachers is very nice and intilted. A Professor of college is very hard working and teach us about is very good

- This one is still a puzzle to me: My college is orgren is very healful games. My college result is very good and my college is favmem. My college is competion orgreness.

- My college rooms in the fans and air is summer simer !!!????

-Couldn't "decode" this one either: My college a show and penten every. My college is pen (peon?) is very honest and brean the open the gate.

- My college very liabilionand many books. My college is big grend and playing the girals. My college is verd hospat.

[/quote]

#2

What the hell :lol: :lol:


#3

I like you college. :lol:


#4

[quote=", post:, topic:"]

The pricple sitting here. My college teacher are farty are fifty.
[/quote]

LMAO!!


#5

thats some essay.


#6

Upload 'em all! loool


#7

Good keep posting and let all laugh.


#8

Did he take his English lessons from Inzi? :lol:


#9

A few lines worth sharing from the rest of the papers:

[quote=", post:, topic:"]
- This college is very realistic Damn all the colleges for being unrealistic :D

- This System is very good. This building is very good and beautiful and noutirous

-- All the rooms are well covered and papered. All the building are very clean and white and wash

- Every rooms are IN the chairs

- Our college is very biggest and fast.

- Every topiks are books in here and they lead them.

- Hospital are facilites in the college. If enybody have THE sick you made and give their medicine.

- Teachers are very noble and perfect. They teachs us very good. Every topic to discuss the students and they tells him the students

- The students comes in this college many villages towns getting for knowledge.

- My college has well disiplened. Our college with covered roses plants. The college play ground are grassy plans.

- My college is very popular becuase of knowledge.

- My college three storees. My college is very high in education.

- My college students are very able because our teachers are very able and intalligent so students are very able!!!

- I and my friends are very enjoying of the functions other student of the other colleges to see these functions and very happy.

- I like it very much in every day of life. God always progress.!!!

- Our college staff is very hard working. They own duty is very honesty. Our teachers we read very good.Our college canteen available everything. Our college IS factality OF computer lab!!. Our library have many good books. Every topic have books on Islamic book. Our college started morning at 8:30 o clock and closed by 1:30 o clock at noon. We were very enjoy in the college during the classic time.

- Our college gate opened in the fixed time College life is very good life. The friends helped each other in every problem. No body talking in during the class lecture. Our english teacher is very good read I like most very much in my english teacher I like very much IN my college.

- My college is very beautiful and big greend and big hall. My college HIS rooms are very big and clean. My college all the teachers is very nice and intilted. A Professor of college is very hard working and teach us about is very good

- This one is still a puzzle to me: My college is orgren is very healful games. My college result is very good and my college is favmem. My college is competion orgreness.

- My college rooms in the fans and air is summer simer !!!????

-Couldn't "decode" this one either: My college a show and penten every. My college is pen (peon?) is very honest and brean the open the gate.

- My college very liabilionand many books. My college is big grend and playing the girals. My college is verd hospat.

[/quote]

#10

[quote=", post:, topic:"]

Did he take his English lessons from Inzi? :lol:
[/quote]

Nah man. Even Inzi can do better than this. BTW it is a girls college.

[quote=", post:, topic:"]
Good keep posting and let all laugh.
[/quote]

I’ve posted all I had (Main lines worth telling from the rest though). And I have been laughing so hard and for so long that my belly is hurting now, and I have lost all my laughs for today :D. Have fun guys.


#11

[quote=", post:, topic:"]

Did he take his English lessons from Inzi? :lol:
[/quote]

:lol:


#12

Some years back, i was involved papers checking of different subject of examination took place from all over Pakistan. In my assessment english of big cities students is much better than other small cities or towns. I hope my assessment not wrong.


#13

[quote=", post:, topic:"]

Some years back, i was involved papers checking of different subject of examination took place from all over Pakistan. In my assessment english of big cities students is much better than other small cities or towns. I hope my assessment not wrong.
[/quote]

You are absolutely right. And a few reasons for this IMO are:

1. Very few High class/proper english medium schools in small cities (Beacon, City etc)

2. Jobs and admission in schools/colleges in small cities don’t expect good english, compared to large cities where it is the first requirement in most cases.

3. In large cities, speaking and understanding English is part of middle class and high class society, while in small cities it is sometimes considered to be a show off.

4. This might be a little influential, but people in small cities rarely watch English movies, which might help them to get a little grip on the language.


#14

Learn English Commercial


#15

[quote=", post:, topic:"]

Learn English Commercial

[/quote]

Wow, very funny video.